Back in January, I seriously hoped I had heard the last of the flipping witch tax but alas, it is not so.
My unsleeping internet “eye” picked up a gaggle of idiots chortling about the witch tax and I managed to track it down to this AP report filed by an anonymous reporter and released just two hours ago. Since then it’s spread to a variety of other sites and I’m sure it’ll wend its way to the vaunted New York Times in a week or so.
After searching through the English-language sites, I realized that this Bratara Buzea had called the AP directly. Other articles in Romanian largely quote or refer back to the earlier witch tax articles, all of which began with Bratara as well. Clearly she somehow got the phone number of an AP reporter and has been blowing outrage about this subject since at least April 2010.
Parsing out the details, it looks like the cash-strapped Romanian government (currently in hock to western bankers for a ton of money) decided to incorporate “witches” as ordinary jobs under the tax code. As I mentioned last time, witches have been taxed for a long time as self-employed persons in the United States and it’s really no big deal.
Not that this stopped the supercilious smug laughter from ignorant bastards worldwide, especially when it’s just so fun to smear Romania as superstitious and backwards when it’s the thousands of foreigners coming here who are obsessed with vampires and Dracula, not Romanians.
But the new “angle” to the story here is that there’s now a bill to impose criminal punishments and/or fines to witches who don’t predict the future correctly. A better article on this is here but it omits the names of the idiots in the Romanian congress who wrote this legislation.
Clearly even a simpleton could figure out that it’s impossible to establish what constitutes a “correct” palm reading versus an “incorrect” one but that never stopped the PD-L party from writing this mockery of a legislation. From everything I can see, it looks like this is Constantin “The Genius from Dolj” Dascalu’s baby, although he has quite a few idiots co-signing this bill with him:
deputati PD-L: Boghicevici Claudia, Boiangiu Victor, Cionca-Arghir Iustin-Marinel, Dascălu Constantin, Giurgiu Mircia, Göndör Marius-Sorin, Hogea Gheorghe, Holdiş Ioan, Leşe Doru Braşoan, Militaru Constantin Severus, Niţu Adrian Henorel, Oajdea Daniel Vasile, Olar Corneliu, Popoviciu Alin Augustin Florin, Riviş-Tipei Lucian, Seremi Ştefan, Trăşculescu Alin Silviu
deputati PSD: Barna Maria Eugenia
deputati PNL: Ţaga Claudiu
deputati Minoritati: Buciuta Ştefan
deputati Indep.: Cherecheş Cătălin
That’s your tax dollars hard at work, folks!
I managed to track down the actual legislation itself, which you can find here (PDF file). I won’t write out the whole thing here but I had to type out the following just so you can see what these morons actually signed their names to:
Art. 2 – In intelesul prezentei legi, aceste practici [witchcraft] nu sunt integrate in sistemul principal al serviciilor oferite populatiei si au la baza doar teoriile, credintele si experientele empirice ale asa-ziselor clarvazatoare, in prezicerea viitorului, tamaduire de boli si alte afectiuni sufletesi.
I had to stop and catch my breath laughing at that one because it’d be easy to rewrite this to say the exact same thing about Orthodox priests.
But the jewel is here:
Sectiunea a 2-a
Art. 4 In sensul prezentei legi, termenii si expresiile de ma jos au urmatoarele semnificatii:
a) ghicitor – persoana care se indeletniceste cu prezicerea viitorului;
b) practicile oculte – activitati de ghicit si vrajitorie, prin invocarea unor realitati spirituale demonice, ezoterice;
c) vrajitoria – ritualuri magice prin care se invoca realitati spirituale demonice, cu scopul de a inlatura anumite boli, de a reface sau destrama legaturi dintre oameni;
d) farmecele – legaturi de vrajitorie.
Holy moley guacamole! Seriously that is just so shameless and shortsighted, to actually pen those words and try to make some kind of legal definition for palm reading and “witchcraft”. If this bill passes (and who knows if it will, after all this is Romania) then summoning demons and using magic is now invested with the full weight of law. Sheesh.
But I’ve saved the best for last:
Practicianul din domeniul ocult va fi obligat sa adere la organizatie profesionala specifica; organizatia profesionala respectiva isi da avizul in privinta autorizarii pentru practica in domeniul respectiv.
Long story short – you need to join the witches’ union and make sure you’re a fully licensed witch following only legal witchery practices if you want to make a living as a witch ;)
Oh mercy. Well if you’re Romanian and any of the above genius politicians are your current Senator or Representative, you know who to vote for during the next election!