The Mysterious Case of the Suicide Attempt That Wasn’t

Obviously the subject everyone is discussing today is former PM Nastase’s suicide attempt Wednesday night. There are about 10 guys building a house right next door to my apartment and every day I get “treated” to their gossip and this is certainly what they’ve been talking about all morning.

The story seemed to make sense late Wednesday into Thursday – a man who was formerly Prime Minister, who ran for president, who had been a lawyer and a judge and a professor, was brought low by a conviction in a corruption trial and was about to be hauled off to jail. His dignity and pride wouldn’t allow such a blow and so in desperation he tried to take his own life, being stopped only by the brave action of a police officer who wrestled with him for the gun.

The problem I’m having is that that the official story makes no sense. ProTV managed to get a copy of the pre-surgery report from the doctors at the hospital, which you can see here:

They then created a graphic image of the bullet’s alleged path that you can see here:

Except that they later published this graphic, which is clearly different:

According to the official reports, Nastase was transported to a local clinic (actually a hospital that specializes in plastic surgery, not emergency medicine) around midnight and then operated on him ten hours later and yet this was a “serious” wound and he was “lucky to escape with his life”.

Ioan Rus, the Interior Minister, said he had spoken to Nastase earlier in the night, asking him whether he was going to turn himself in at the prison in Rahova or if he wanted a police van to come pick him up at his residence. His alleged reply was “I’m never leaving this house,” implying suicide, and that Rus at this point sent over an ambulance “just in case” something happened when the police officers arrived to escort him.

Obviously something did happen and the police called in the ambulance, which was backed into the garage of his luxury house. Several images (as well as video) were taken of Nastase being loaded into the ambulance as well as later being wheeled into the plastic surgery clinic. In all the photos he is clearly shown wearing a $400 Burberry scarf tied around his neck and is dressed in a light blue dress shirt.

If this man was shot in the shoulder at close range by round from a .38 revolver, why is he dressed in a button up shirt and wearing a luxury scarf around his neck? According to a doctor from the plastic surgery clinic, the family dressed Nastase before he left as a way of “protecting him” (his dignity), knowing that there were dozens of cameras outside but that underneath there were “lots of bandages”.

Meanwhile the doctor from the hospital who has been giving these statements to the press is Ioan Lascar, an honorary counselor of the Ponta government, meaning he is a PSD party loyalist.

Via CANCAN, the gossip newspaper, here is a photo of Nastase’s right shoulder:

Do you see the outline of any bandages on his shoulder? Because I sure don’t.

Therefore we’re expected to believe (according to the official reports):

  1. Nastase was despondent and suicidal, taking the time both to write a goodbye letter to his family as well as tell Ioan Rus he was “never leaving” his house.
  2. With his family inside the house, Nastase meets and speaks to the arresting police officers and then suddenly dashes in his office for a .38 revolver and puts it against the side of his head.
  3. One police officer wrestles with Nastase for the gun and it is fired at close range to the top part of Nastase’s shoulder, exiting out of the side of his neck.
  4. An ambulance crew that was on stand by dashes into the residence to render medical aid.
  5. The ambulance crew either A) fails to remove Nastase’s shirt to apply bandages or B) allows his family to dress him a business shirt that requires a lot of moving of the arm and shoulder despite a gunshot wound inflicted at close range AND take the time to elegantly tie a luxury scarf around his neck.
  6. Despite the “seriousness” of the wounds, Nastase is taken to a clinic that specializes in plastic surgery (not emergency medicine) and is not operated on until over 10 hours later.

Now Nastase officially has a 14-day reprieve while he recuperates and his lawyers are busy filing the paperwork to essentially give him what we call “house arrest” in America, meaning he won’t have to go to jail despite his conviction.

If you want to play along at home and pretend you’re a former Romanian Prime Minister, now you can!

Just using your finger, try to “shoot yourself” in the shoulder from that position and angle in the picture. Frankly it’s almost impossible. The only way to do it would be to use your opposite arm and cross it over your chest. Unless you’re an Olympic gymnast I don’t see how you could use your right hand and hold a gun and shoot yourself in the right shoulder from that position.

Then after you “shoot” yourself in the arm, allow some paramedics to bandage up your shoulder and then take the time to put on a constricting business shirt. See if you can do it without being in terrible pain. Be sure to use very thin bandages so that they cannot be seen underneath the fabric of your shirt.

Then go get your favorite Burberry scarf (that you bought with the money you stole from the Romanian people) out of the drawer and tie it in an elegant knot around your gaping neck wound. Be sure to keep the scarf around your neck during the entire trip to the hospital and don’t let the medics check you for possible bleeding.

Once you check yourself into your favorite plastic surgery clinic (run by loyal members of your party), relax in bed and get a good night’s sleep and then have your surgery in the morning after everyone has had a nice leisurely breakfast.

Meanwhile get your friends to appear on television so they can blame your injuries on your political enemy and then send your son out to hold a press conference to read aloud your “suicide letter” so that as many people as possible feel sorry for you and then you won’t have to go to jail with disgusting regular people.

Yay, you did it! You staged the whole thing and now you don’t have to pay for your crimes. Give yourself a pat on the back because YOU ARE A WINNER!

14 Comments Add yours

  1. ER says:

    A person who’s using his right hand is trying to kill himself with left hand? Otherwise I can’t see how the bullet entry point was on the left side of the neck.


  2. Manuel says:

    I think anyone with half a brain and common sense realized this was a sham from the beginning.

    I must say, I am pleasantly surprised that Nastase used this modern PR stunt, I would expect something from the KGB manual his mentor Iliescu knows so well.


  3. Giuseppe says:

    A correction to the article, I didn’t notice this issue earlier: Năstase was taken to Floreasca Hospital, which is not a plastic surgery clinic. It’s a full-blown hospital specialized in emergency medicine and it’s closely associated with SMURD, the premier medical emergency service in Romania. Even its name confirms it: Spitalul Clinic de Urgenţă Floreasca or Floreasca Clinical Emergency Hospital for any non-Romanian speakers.

    What does link this case with plastic surgery is that Ioan Lascăr is indeed specialized in cosmetic surgery (and a close friend of PSD).


  4. Giuseppe says:

    I’d like to add another strange bit: the ambulance that the Interior Minister himself sent to Adrian Năstase’s home was one from a privately owned ambulance service of a company called BGS. So the Interior Minsiter doesn’t send an ambulance belonging to any state emergency service… no, he sends a private one!

    BGS, probably the largest Romanian private company that deals in all manner of safety and protection services, is well know for its shady links with The Powers That Be. For example: Marian Oprişan, a well known PSD local baron, was accused of signing a 700.000 Euro contract with BGS for the protection of the Vrancea County Council building.


  5. Gary says:

    Unless you have ape arms or maybe a very small snub nose revolver, that shot is impossible! Especially with a police officer wrestling you for control of the gun. I have to say, this is far more entertaining than the boring idiots in Washington:D


  6. assur17 says:

    I wish they all shot themselves. All the present politicians I mean. They’re nothing but a bunch of lying, cheating, criminal jackals.


  7. cristihan says:
    Oh, well… :)
    PS. Just on correction: Spitalul “Clinic de Urgenta” Floreasca is an emergency unit, the one where all serious cases are usually taken. Other than that, all the rest is accurate, bravo!


  8. MeatPuppet says:

    My country’s political dramas baffle me every single day. Where do they come up with this shit?!


  9. Simona says:

    I’ve been looking all over the internet (well, for 15 minutes ) for a photo of a point blank shot wound with a 9 mm handgun. It was a point blank shot, right?. No luck ,I guess that this would not be something to post on the WWW. I would imagine to see the person full of blood on the face and shoulder. I would expect also to see some burning marks, because, of course, the nozzle would be quite hot.

    if you have friends back in the states that are more familiar with guns and how to handle them (in the military), maybe they could explain to us what would we be seeing in this situation. How would the victim feel. how big the damage would have been, even though no major blood vessel was damaged. how would the blood splatter look like.

    Time for me to replay some Dexter episodes, while waiting for the next season ;)


  10. Costin says:

    Yup, that’s pretty much it then. And I’m not surprised. Now give this man his Oscar nomination! Oh wait, the whole thing did look very fake… no Oscar nomination for you Mr. Năstase.


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