Hey, it’s Friday so time to have some fun and no more boring stuff about the IMF or going into detail about how one of Daddy Isarescu’s best pals just got installed as a VP of the EIB because it’s time to have some fun. What do you say? Yay for fun and boo for boring stuff.
A couple of days ago, the ever-vigilant and always security conscientious authorities at Otopeni Airport (the main one in Bucharest) were scanning through some departing passenger’s luggage when they discovered something shocking. A guy was smuggling a human foot out of the country! Holy shit! Call out the armed guards (yep, swear to God they did it). This passenger was some kind of serial killer and the sick bastard had a human foot in his bag.
Or maybe it was a leg. With Romanian you never can tell. In any account, all 24-hour news stations quickly dispatched their best reporter to cover the story! Yes! The foot leg was human. No wait, it’s the leg foot of a bear! No wait, it’s human. Lots and lots of shots of the Otopeni arrivals area. When will we get to the bottom of this mystery?
Experts are hastily summoned from all four corners of the Romanian forensic world. Break out your magnifying glasses, boys, we got ourselves a case. The passenger is Chinese. Someone calls the Chinese consulate in Bucharest. Hold on, my good fellows, it’s a bear foot leg, no need to panic. Is that a crime? Why is he even carrying around a bear foot leg in the first place? Seize him!
And so they did. Are they going to prosecute him? Maybe yes, maybe no. Yes, it is finally confirmed without a doubt it’s the paw (Romanian: laba) from a bear, neither the “foot” nor the “leg” (Romanian: picior). It’s like his little bear hand. Awww, so cute. But so terrifying! And it turns out the damn thing was frozen. But where in the hell did he get a frozen bear paw? And what was his insidious and evil plan?
Turns out he bought it in an ordinary shop right in Bucharest, open six days a week for your international animal foot leg needs. And it turns out that the guy was going to take it to Italy to turn it into some kind of Chinese recipe to be served in a restaurant. Whew! Ok a little odd but thank God those intrepid authorities in Otopeni were on the job. Nothing slides by their eagle eyes!
This is the image that Realitatea has up on their site to “re-create” the scene of the crime as it happened and show us what a bear paw looks like. God I love this country so much, I swear. Real bear paw scanner image here, hilariously filling up 90% of the guy’s suitcase. Yeah looks real human to me LOL.
AND NOW YOU KNOW!