¡Solo se vive una vez! (5)

As long as I ever shall live, I will never, ever, and I mean fucking never ceased to be amazed at just what a wondrous and magical journey this life is. Right now my computer is rendering all the wonderful video footage of this past weekend, which I partly filmed for my own memories and… Read More ›

You Know You’re Romanian When… (6)

…you openly admit your racism and prejudice against gypsies but your favorite radio station plays a certain Shakira song on regular rotation LOL.

Shit or be Shat Upon (9)

Due to an openly admitted work by another person hereby linked officially on this blog article that I found this morning, I also was informed that the selfsame article had been concisely rendered into Romanian by Adevarul newspaper. Quite frankly, I’ll say on the outset I am a little jealous. The one truly Romanian experience… Read More ›

Mircea Geoana for President (7)

Whew mercy, well I’ve just returned from the longest road trip of my entire life here in Romania, and that’s saying something ;) We left Unicorn City (Cluj-Napoca) on Monday evening, passed through Bucharest, shot up to Galati, spent part of the day there and then crossed through Braila and Constanta to get to the… Read More ›

Si habla Ud. español, por favor marca el numero dos (3)

If you speak Romanian, you absolutely need to watch this video because for the first time ever, I can explain Project Iceberg. Yes! If you don’t speak Romanian, or not well, you can skip right to minute 7:00 and see a slice of the amazing adventures I’ve been having lately. The good news is that… Read More ›

Sunday (1)

No Sign of Threat Whatsoever (6)

Amen: I rarely felt as safe in a foreign capital as I did in Bucharest. And I am not a naive tourist. There simply is no sign of threat whatsoever. I think Berlin and London are vastly more dangerous. So forget all that crap you hear. Now do you believe me??

Uh…. you’re welcome? (3)

It has come to my attention that not one but TWO different professors (each teaching a different subject) here in Cluj-Napoca have been using either me, the writings on this website or some other material I’ve produced as teaching materials in their class. I have also heard an indirect report that a third professor in… Read More ›

WOTD: Impodobi (6)

I actually learned this word this year, which just goes to show you that you should never stop learning words, even in your own native language (my latest acquisition in English is gallimaufry). The verb I just learned recently is impodobi, which has a regular series of conjugations. The verb is a combination of im… Read More ›

More Gooder Relations with English (5)

Anyone living here for any amount of time knows that Romania is a comedy of errors, where even the most routine things get cocked up (as British people say). A case in point is a screencap I took of the welcome message of the official website of the Romanian embassy in Britain: Seriously, you’d think… Read More ›

Cine joaca sa traiasca (1)

It’s confession time here at the OK Corral, in which slowly but surely I put more and more of my life “out there” for everyone to see. This very morning on a lovely spring day, I rode in a taxi across half the city. The traffic was so bad and the weather was so beautiful… Read More ›

Rocking like a Hurricane

Whew, it’s Monday morning as I write this but my life continues to be a fabulous whirlwind. I effectively paid 45 lei for the photo you see above but I feel it’s eminently worth it – I love it! This week should be a little less frenetic and so more good stuff to come –… Read More ›

Puddle Chickens (3)

The tourist season is heating up (as usual, things kick off with a bang starting on May 1) and you may soon find yourself in an upscale restaurant in this country, salivating as you pore over the choices on the menu. If you see an entry called pui de balta, don’t be alarmed if you… Read More ›

Out, out damn spots! (2)

A few friends of mine had been telling me that there were ads (UK: adverts) on my website, which confused me because every time I looked at the site I didn’t see any. I also checked from other people’s computers and still didn’t see them. Turns out that if you’re viewing this site on a… Read More ›

Musețel, un minunat leac universal (3)

They always say that the good die young, so you can be sure I’m going to make it to a ripe old age :P Picture above is a delightful chamomile (pt romani se zice kemomil) plant that I found growing spontaneously in my tiny garden. In all the years I’ve lived in Romania, I never… Read More ›

Christmas Lights (3)

Well today is “Mos Nicolae” day or Saint Nicholas Day, when little children and adults who are young at heart get little gifts. Last night to celebrate this, the Primarie or City Hall here in Cluj-Napoca had a nice little festival where they turned on all the Christmas lights. I was out and about and… Read More ›

Mailbag

One of the coolest things about being a writer is the work that you do all by yourself behind closer doors goes out into the wider world. And people receive it and it affects them and then every once in a while you get to hear about it. I don’t know if there’s something in… Read More ›

Poor Execution on the Play (6)

I’m starting to realize that it’s not just democracy that Romanians need some training on but also how to be a political party. It’s been obvious for years that the “majors” were horrifically inept on almost every level, even as an organization, with multiple broken alliances and members defecting to other parties. Now I see… Read More ›

The Dirty Secret of Romanian Television (6)

Hey folks, I’m sure some of you might be expecting a lengthy analysis of this week’s elections but honestly I have no desire to get in-depth on this subject at the moment. Quite honestly the USL is screwed because they’ve just inherited ALL of the mistakes and blunders of the former government PLUS their own… Read More ›

The Ballad of Bambino Party (1)

I got a request to write something light and funny for the end of the year but that isn’t how it works. As Bill Hicks once said, the audience never respects the artist – they always treat you like a jukebox, where you put in a coin and order up what you want. That’s why… Read More ›

Somewhere Over the Rainbow (6)

Now that The Cat Is Halfway Out of the Bag, I can tell you a story like this one: Not too long ago, on a shockingly cold afternoon, I was standing on a downtown sidewalk here in Unicorn City with the two homeless people that I adopted. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a police car… Read More ›

3 Little Birds (5)

Still busy as a beaver these days but here’s three little stories all in one post for your enjoyment! The guy who absolutely insisted on a full Securitate dossier on me but never got one managed to make his money just fine, this time by selling a photograph of me to CanCan, Romania’s #2 gossip… Read More ›

First day on the job (3)

This is what it sounds like when doves cry (13)

The 3 M’s (4)

There’s an old saying that people move to a new city (or country) for one of three reasons, Money, Marriage or Missionary work. Well, I haven’t gotten married just quite yet and I doubt I’ve made more than 100 euros here in all the years I’ve lived in Romania. But to my surprise, I find… Read More ›

Let’s go hand in hand into Lovely Land (9)

I know or have met a tremendous number of foreigners in this country over the years. Whether I’m getting paid or not, I already am the Minister of Tourism in some situations. But out of all of those foreigners, permanent residents or regular visitors, only a tiny percentage of them get paid to write about… Read More ›

Here We Are Now, Entertain Us! (13)

After a ludicrously long day of work, I passed through Piata Unirii here in downtown Unicorn City tonight and chanced upon an anti-Basescu march of about 50 middle aged men. I had to stop as they passed by me and a young woman standing next to me (wearing some kind of comical rabbit hat) whipped… Read More ›

Piki, Nebunul Oficial de Floresti

SCENE: Standing on a street corner in downtown Cluj-Napoca at around 8 o’clock at night. BUDDY #1: Oh my god, look over there. It’s Piki. BUDDY #2: Yeah, Piki the officially crazy guy of Floresti. Me: Why is he the officially crazy guy of Floresti? BUDDY #1: Because everyone in that village knows that his… Read More ›

The Curious Case of Rosia Montana (13)

It’s an interesting commentary on my work here on this website that for nearly three years I’ve written about everything Romanian from the smallest thing to the biggest thing and yet I’ve never once mentioned Rosia Montana and yet no one has ever asked me why. If you’re just getting to know Romania, the struggle… Read More ›

Quick, Henry, the Flit! (7)

Every morning when I wake up, I follow a little ritual. The alarm sounds and my very first thought is, “Holy shit, where am I?” Yeah I know that’s a little odd but I guess I’ve lived in a lot of places so it happens even when I’m at home. The second thing that happens… Read More ›

Maya He (4)

I’m going to tell you a story today that you think you know but you don’t. And because you think you know it, you’re going to have to resist the urge to let your mind race ahead and tell you that there’s nothing new here to think about. In the year 2003, when all of… Read More ›

Tongue Twister Thursday

For Engrish Speakers: Tuburi, jgheaburi si cabluri Verde, repede si rar O chinezoica Pentru Vorbitori: “Pile it, pilot!” said Pontius Pilate The writer rider crushed a spider I heard about the boot that fell out the boat

50 free things to do in Cluj-Napoca (3)

Every month I’m invited to go on television and express just why in the world I like Romania and to “explain” how it is possible I can truly enjoy my life here. I always respond that there are so many beautiful and wonderful things here, including those with zero monetary cost and thus are accessible… Read More ›

Romania Games Part 2 (26)

Sadly, despite writing this piece last week, the racist, xenophobic crap has continued. Today during the “women’s” competition for the balance beam, Catalin Ponor (of ROMANIA, yes I get it!) originally came in third and everyone thought she won the bronze medal. Then the Americans appealed (as is their right) and the judges changed the… Read More ›

TIFF Local Competition 2013

Well folks, if you can understand a little Romanian, you get a treat today. Below is a short film I had intended to submit to the TIFF Local Competition this year but I was on an extremely lengthy road trip (story to come shortly) and returned back to Cluj too late to get it in… Read More ›

Sidewalk Socialism (4)

A close examination of my life reveals that is fractally weird, meaning that it’s strange and inexplicable on every scale of resolution. I get asked quite often why I choose to live in Romania and the real secret is that this country is just as fractally weird as I am. Case in point is the… Read More ›

Unicorn Trams (6)

I wish I could say that I were a “proper” blogger and took these photos myself but alas they are courtesy of Stiri de Cluj although to avoid use of their bandwidth, I am hosting these images myself. As you can see, the new trams (Rom: tramvaiuri) or light rail trains that will soon be… Read More ›

Iuliu Maniu On Street View! (6)

Well it doesn’t work everywhere yet, but the new Google “Street View” look at Romania is now working enough to play with it. So all of you who have ever wanted to “walk” around the crazy, wonderful, glorious mess that is Romania, now you can. Hey look! It’s Cluj!

After The Flood Had Swept Over, The Kingship Was In Kish (4)

Just about every week someone new asks me to justify why I live in Romania. I guess I should start a new category of posts just to list all of these answers, which are far too numerous to fit into a single article. One of the simplest reasons is cash money, (pronounced kish by most… Read More ›

Hungarian Word of the Day: Atom (4)

Just about every language on the planet, including Hungarian, uses the Greek word atom to refer to one of the smallest units of matter in existence. The word comes from a (equivalent to English “un”) and tom meaning “to cut” because originally it was thought that it was the smallest unit and was “uncuttable” or… Read More ›