As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, Russia is scheduled to invade Ukraine today. In fact, according to British “intelligence,” it was supposed to happen at 1:00 AM this morning. So far, though, not a single Russian tank has crossed the border.

I know I’ve been rather hyperbolic in the past, but I truly must ask – at what point does the entire United States government (especially the State Department careerists) need to be involuntarily committed to a mental asylum? For both their sakes and ours?

I’m no historian, but I do not think I’ve ever once heard of a country predicting an imminent invasion of hundreds of thousands of soldiers, and then that invasion never happened. Especially when the government of that “invading” nation has repeatedly said that it has no intention of invading.

It’s beyond ludicrous. I truly do not even have words for how stupid and retarded the whole thing is.

Just this past week, I heard the Great and Respected President of Romania (and future head of NATO) Klaus Iohannis give a speech to the nation where he literally said, “Do not worry about Russia invading Romania because the military will protect you.”

And the week before that, Romania’s Defense Minister had to say the same thing. Seriously, you can’t even make this shit up.

Whatever is going on between Russia and Ukraine is one thing, but the chances of the Russian military killing any Romanians are far, far less than the chances of a Romanian drowning to death in human shit.

What do you say to this kind of lunacy? What do you say to the Ben Hodges (who’s been getting tons of attention these past few weeks) and the George Soroses and the Ned Prices of the world? That they’re delusional schizophrenics? That they’re raving nutjobs, seeing invisible monsters under their beds?

The whole thing is fucking nuts. I literally saw a Romanian teenager post a video on social media saying, “I don’t want to die [during the Russian invasion] before I have my first kiss!”

Yes, I know. Teenage girls can be dramatic. But is the entire western world run by teenage girls now?

I guess so. Maria Zakharova had to tell the Americans and British to please inform her of when future Russian invasions are going to occur so that she can plan her next vacation around them.

That’s really where we’re at, folks.

Bad Dogs Get Punished

Unfortunately for the United States, nobody in Moldova is panicking about “the imminent invasion” even though Maia Sandu desperately tried to amp up the fear.

Moldovans have never been scared of Russians, and they certainly aren’t going to start now.

Therefore, the United States had to publish this bit of insanity theater.

Officially, Moldova is now on the “DO NOT TRAVEL” list because of “unusual Russian troop movements around Ukraine.”

Uh, what?

In a world of smartphones with digital mapping apps, I truly wonder how stupid you have to be to not be able to look at a map and realize that Russia’s border with Ukraine is quite fucking far away from Moldova.

In fact, from any point in Moldova, if you had a fast car, it’d take you something like 12-15 hours to get to the nearest Russian town.

Secondly, I have no earthly idea why the US government is telling its citizens to depart “Transnistria” immediately because of what some soldiers are doing in Russia.

Keep in mind, folks, that Pridnestrovie is twenty friggin’ miles wide at its widest. I could easily walk across the border into Moldova in less time than it would take for Russian invaders to arrive, and I live in the “far east” of the country.

As for “visitors may encounter trouble at checkpoints,” this is a bald-faced lie. There are no interior checkpoints at all in Pridnestrovie, and there’s certainly nobody having any trouble when crossing the border.

Also, as far as I am aware, the United States never bothered to contact any of their citizens who live in Pridnestrovie, and there’s only about a dozen of us, to tell us to “leave immediately.” Guess it can’t be that dangerous then, can it?

Ugh…

Dirty Secret

But there is a dirty truth behind this newly updated warning on “Transnistria,” and I’m going to lay it bare right here and right now.

And the reason you aren’t hearing about this is that journalism fucking sucks a hundred times worse than most people think it does.

First, just as in Donbass, the “conflict” between Moldova and PMR is being observed and monitored by the OSCE.

In these parts, the main office is in Chisinau, but there is a smaller, satellite office here in Tiraspol.

Due to their special role, OSCE observers are given diplomatic status, and official OSCE vehicles carry diplomatic plates, which means they freely cross the PMR/Moldova border without being inspected.

In addition, the responsibilities of the OSCE observers are clearly defined, which means that their schedules and routes are planned ahead of time.

In the past couple of weeks, however, the OSCE has started to do some really sneaky things.

First, while they kept the diplomatic plates, they removed all of the OSCE identifying markings from the official vehicles that were operating in Tiraspol.  OSCE vehicles are supposed to be identified on all four sides in big blue letters in both the Latin and Cyrillic scripts.

Secondly, these unmarked cars were then spotted at several locations far outside their normal routes. Third, based on where the cars were spotted, it seems evident that their mission was to spy on OGRF troops.

OGRF troops are the approximately 1,400 members of the Russian Army operating in Pridnestrovie, which is different than the JCC troops that are Russian members of the peacekeeping force. OGRF troops do not do any “peacekeeping” – instead, they primarily guard a series of weapons depots.

Obviously, someone at the OSCE, or someone using OSCE vehicles, was told to go spy on whatever maneuvers and training exercises the OGRF were up to in Pridnestrovie.

Whereas in the Donbass, many of the OSCE members are American citizens, around here, they’re primarily members of the European Union. So someone in the EU is doing America’s bidding to go spy on Russian soldiers in Pridnestrovie, and doing so in a rather stupid way.

As for what two idiots in a car are supposed to see concerning “troop movements” that an overhead satellite cannot, I have no idea.

And I also have no idea what a thousand Russian soldiers without any tanks or planes attacking Ukraine from Pridnestrovie are going to do to help the “Grand Invasion,” but I’m sure some nutjob in the American Embassy in Chisinau has a theory.

So far, the PMR government hasn’t said anything publicly about the unmarked OSCE cars engaging in spycraft, but it wouldn’t surprise me if the border guards were given orders to inspect all OSCE cars very thoroughly and otherwise make it a hassle for them to cross back and forth every day.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why America is retaliating against Pridnestrovie with that warning to “leave immediately,” and about how everything is so gosh darn unsafe and dangerous here.

AND NOW YOU KNOW!