Sucker Bet

One thing I’ve never understood is Romania’s irrational fear and hatred of Russia. Literally anything that Russia does is always met with suspicion while conversely anything that the United States does is always excused and forgiven.

Romania had a brief dispute with the United States when NATO illegally began bombing the shit out of Yugoslavia in 1999 and Romania refused to let American weapons transit their territory, but Romania DID cooperate with the US in setting up an air traffic control network.

But since then? Romania has been America’s ultra-compliant servant. One of the “rewards” for doing literally everything America has ever asked for since 1999 was supposed to be getting a visa waiver for Romanians to travel to the United States.

Let’s check in on how that’s been going, shall we?

    2003 – CIA operates a torture center in a Romanian government facility in Bucharest. Meanwhile, Romania joins the coalition of the willing, putting its soldiers in harm’s way to attack Iraq for no good reason whatsoever.
  • 2004 – A drunk American Marine working at the US Embassy murders Teo Peter and gets away with it scot-free. Basescu and his allies weather enormous public outcry but still acede to Washington’s wishes. Meanwhile, Romania “proudly” joins NATO. Basescu, despite campaigning against Bechtel in 2004, secretly promises the American embassy to support Bechtel’s staggeringly expensive road building contract.
  • 2005 – US National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice visits Romania and is welcomed by both Basescu and Nadia Comaneci for the purpose of signing an agreement to install US military bases on Romanian soil. Meanwhile, Basescu secretly tells the United States that he wants as many FBI agents in Romania as there are CIA agents.
  • 2006 – Romanian parliament wants to remove troops from Iraq but gets overruled largely thanks to President Basescu. Basescu travels to Washington and is roundly praised by President Bush, but still no visa waiver. Later in the year, Bush travels to Estonia and gives a speech saying the US wants to accelerate adding new countries to the visa waiver program, including Romania.
  • 2007 – Romania joins the EU, hoping to quickly get on the growing list of visa-free EU countries that can travel to the United States. Meanwhile, the United States starts using Mihail Kogalniceanu air base near Constanta.
  • 2008 – Washington is considering lifting the visa waiver for Romania. Meanwhile, Hungary, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania get the visa waiver. Romania hosts a NATO summit in Bucharest and Bush considers granting Romania a visa waiver
  • 2009 – Romania finally pulls out of Iraq. A total of four Romanian soldiers were killed while occupying Iraq and eight wounded. American VP Joe Biden visits Romania and effusively praises Romania but doesn’t even mention the visa waiver.
  • 2010 – Wikipedia blows the lid off Romania’s subserviant relationship to Washington, angering the Romanian public. Romania allows armed American cops to fly on planes traveling to the United States from Romania.
  • 2011 – Romania signs deal with US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to allow the first foreign military base on its soil since 1956. One of the “hoped for” benefits was lifting the visa waivers.
  • 2012 – Three American congressmen, one of which (Mike Quigley) says he has the express backing of President Obama, say they’re working on getting Romania’s visa restrictions lifted. Meanwhile, Bogdan Aurescu, Romania’s deputy foreign minister, says it’s Romania’s fault that the visa restrictions are still in place.
  • 2013 – PM Victor Ponta travels to Washington and begs for a visa waiver.
    Mircea Geoana does the same. Meanwhile, Romania spends 638 million dollars to buy a dozen second-hand American-made F16 fighters and expensive sonobuoys.
    This was strongly supported by Mircea Geoana.
  • 2014 – Geoana was “tipped” to become the NATO chief, but instead it went to Anders Fogh Rasmussen, but Geoana declares “progress” is being made on the visa waiver issue. Victoria “Fuck the EU” Nuland kinda sorta promises to lift the visa waiver. Meanwhile, Ponta crushes fracking protests at the behest of his American advisor Wesley Clarke and American petroleum giant Chevron (all while blaming the Russians for the protests).
  • 2015 – Romanian Foreign Minister Bogdan Aurescu begs the US to lift the visa restrictions after noting that Romania has met the technical and security criteria
    to be included in the visa waiver program. Meanwhile, Romania signs an anti-terrorism agreement with the United States and deputy PM Gabriel “Cop Killer” Oprea declares that America is “in the process” of lifting the visa restrictions.
  • 2016 – American Ambassador to Romania, Hans Klemm, says the American government is “still thinking” about the visa waiver. Romanian Foreign Minister Teodor Baconschi personally begs President Obama to lift visa restrictions. Meanwhile,
    Romania extradites its own citizen to the United States for publishing Colin Powell’s lovesick emails to Corina Cretu.
  • 2017 – President Iohannis travels to America and Trump punks him at a press conference just months after an entire American battalion conducted military exercises in Romania.
This about sums up USA-Romania relations

Bonus points: Romania sent troops to Afghanistan in 2001 and still has soldiers there. A total of 76 Romanians have been killed in Afghanistan and at least 31 wounded. Afghanistan has never attacked Romania, and not a single Afghan citizen has ever committed an act of terrorism in Romania.

Double bonus points: The United States crippled the Romanian economy between 1972-1989 by lending Ceausescu at least 13 billion dollars, leading to wide-spread starvation and suffering.


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