The Mother of All Fail Whales

Oh my. Just when I thought this week couldn’t get any funnier, Liviu Dragnea went and proved me wrong.

Dry details in English on the latest hijinks here, but I was clutching my belly with laughter all day Tuesday as I watched Dragnea’s last attempt to save his political power flame out in a blaze of idiocy.

To recap, Dragnea is the de facto head of the PSD, the party that won the December 2016 elections. Because he’s forbidden by law to become the Prime Minister, he had his stooge Grindeanu put in place in January. But when the stooge suddenly grew a spine and refused to enact legislative changes to de-criminalize Dragnea’s actions, Dragnea threw a temper tantrum and ordered (via text message no less!) all of “his” ministers to resign.

Well, one minister refused, and Grindeanu decided to become BFFs with Victor “It Ain’t Plagiarizing If You Quote 56 Pages Without Attribution” Ponta, the former PSD prime minister who himself got exiled from the PSD, to cobble together a weak but still deadly coalition to rebut Dragnea’s (via Mihai Fifor, who I still think has the funniest name in Romanian politics) censure motion that’s coming up for a vote today.

All of the PSD’s parliamentary partners abandoned ship, knowing full well that a rat fight amongst the PSD is going to get ugly. Dragnea went for a Hail Mary, promising the Hungarian UDMR party some really sweet plums like making March 15 officially a national holiday called Hungarian Day, but the UDMR backed out when the racist elements of the PSD went berserk and refused to even entertain the UDMR’s proposals.

Now all that’s left is The Big Vote on whether to remove Grindeanu as PM or not. Grindeanu and Ponta think they’ve got enough members to abstain from voting, and the UDMR decided to ghost like Swayze once it was clear that there was zero chance of the PSD passing any of their legislation.

Now what it comes down to is whether Dragnea can keep the PSD’s shit together long enough to get the necessary votes AND if they can corral a few stragglers (like the minority parties) to join in with them. But what’s the upside for anyone to help Dragnea and the PSD? Everyone knows Dragnea is hated by the people and he will stab you in the back the moment he thinks it’s in his best interest.

President Iohannis, meanwhile, is thanking his lucky stars that he didn’t hitch his corrupt wagon to the PSD back in 2013 when he almost became one of Ponta’s ministers. Nowadays, Iohannis practically looks like a saint and can appear on state TV with a straight face while giving the PSD a stern lecture about the rule of law.

And the PSD know that he’s most definitely going to replace Grindeanu with someone the PSD dislikes even more if they’re stupid enough to vote Grindeanu out of the PM chair. So either the PSD loses by failing to remove Grindeanu or fails by having him replaced by someone else they hate more.

Ahh, Romania. Always entertaining. Too bad there are people’s lives on the line, a mushrooming budget problem, rampant brain drain, a dwindling population, and a billion other things to fix, but hey, what can you do?

If you don’t laugh, you cry!

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