The one who got away

Since I am forbidden from talking about my own case, I thought I’d take a breather and tell you about another case, starring once again the crack units of the Cluj-Napoca police. I assure you that everything you are about to read is entirely true. Two officers in a Transportation Police blue Volkswagen with full markings, including an activated lightbar (the “disco lights”), pull over … Continue reading The one who got away

Romania, where not even the banks understand capitalism

An associate of mine is out of town at the moment and asked me to go to the bank and pay off a small debt that they had, and promised to repay me upon their return. I said, “Sure, no problem.” [[Fast forward to inside bank]] “Hello, friendly lady at the teller window,” I said. “I came to give you money to put in blah-blah-blah’s … Continue reading Romania, where not even the banks understand capitalism

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Now that The Cat Is Halfway Out of the Bag, I can tell you a story like this one: Not too long ago, on a shockingly cold afternoon, I was standing on a downtown sidewalk here in Unicorn City with the two homeless people that I adopted. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a police car pulled in front of us and two cops jumped out … Continue reading Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Piki, Nebunul Oficial de Floresti

SCENE: Standing on a street corner in downtown Cluj-Napoca at around 8 o’clock at night. BUDDY #1: Oh my god, look over there. It’s Piki. BUDDY #2: Yeah, Piki the officially crazy guy of Floresti. Me: Why is he the officially crazy guy of Floresti? BUDDY #1: Because everyone in that village knows that his wife is a (literal) cow. He has sex with her. … Continue reading Piki, Nebunul Oficial de Floresti