Yes! I am hereby opening comments because I am inviting you to participate in I’m More Romanian Than You!‘s first official contest!
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find an actual news story written in Romanian and then re-write it in English in the fabulous style of Alison Mutler.
- The original story must come from Click!, Romania’s #1 source for hard-hitting news. It can be either a recent article or an older one. Be sure to include a link to the original story.
- Your story must be in English and at least three paragraphs long.
- You must include at least one irrelevant remark, comment or observation about Romania. Bonus points if you reference something that is completely unsubstantiated or otherwise verifiable.
- Either directly or indirectly, you must insult or disparage Romania.
- References to Gypsies, orphans, poverty and/or the color purple are always welcome.
Couldn’t be simpler! Once all the entries are completed, I’ll put up a new post and allow all of you, the readers, to vote on the selections.
Grand Prize: The winning entry will be printed out and mailed to the Bucharest office of the Associated Press. Likewise, a copy will be emailed to Alison Mutler (yes, I have her email address). And if you make me laugh, I might send you one of my books.
To get you started, I’ve prepared a few entries:
Original Click! article here:
Romania: Locals prepare for wild Spring Break parties
BUCHAREST, Romania (AP) – Romanians are known to party hearty and workers are scrambling to prepare resorts on the Black Sea coast before the arrival of hordes of merrymakers on May 1.
Click, a daily newspaper, has reported Thursday that construction crews are out in force to repair and reinforce the streets near Mamaia, Romania’s version of “Daytona Beach”, where throngs of drunken university students flock to the seaside to party and dance through the night.
Romania, a country long known for its wretched and frighteningly dangerous railway system, has boosted the number of train routes to the seaside in anticipation of the university students’ arrival.
Original Click! article here:
Romania’s answer to Eminem wins talent show
BUCHAREST, Romania (AP) – Known as the “Orphan of Focsani”, 19-year-old Adrian Tutu became the first winner of “Romania’s Got Talent”, a national television show that is similar to “American Idol”.
Invoking the spirit of Eminem, the young rapper, dressed in a stylish oversized red baseball cap and a delicately fluted teal and purple hoody, charmed his way past several talented and deserving ethnic Rroma (Gypsy) contestants to claim the 120,000 euros (250,000 U.S. dollars) top prize.
In the 1980’s, dictator Nicolae Ceaucescu encouraged Romanians to have as many children as possible, tragically resulting in overcrowded orphanages. Growing up without parents in the hard-scrabble hinterlands of Moldavia was difficult for Tutu but he overcame all obstacles to appear on “Romania’s Got Talent”, despite having no prior professional experience.
After claiming the top prize, young Mr. Tutu’s future plans are remarkably humble. “My first priority is to finally finish high school,” said the rapper.
Original Click! story here:
Bucharest uses advanced technology to foil thieves
BUCHAREST, Romania (AP) – The Bucharest Metropolitan Transport Authority (RATB) is implementing a series of high-tech magnetic cards on all of its bus, tram and subway lines.
Romania’s capital, long known for the cunning of its thieves, is implementing the measures in order to foil the methods used by crafty locals in order to ride the subway or bus for free. Known as the “Dracula method”, antiquated paper tickets would be artificially impaled in order to make them look properly validated.
Although the new digital, magnetized cards are still being rolled out, many locations have already sold out of the old paper tickets. “I’m sorry but we’ve run out. You can buy a refillable digital card if you like,” said a smiling Angela Gavril, a RATB ticket vendor.
Many locals are pleased by the new, more expensive technology. “It’s more expensive but more comfortable. I can ride the subway now without having to wait in line behind a bunch of Gypsies to buy a paper ticket,” said Robert Beraru, age 37.
Enterprising Romanians can also recharge their cards at local ATMs belonging to the BCR bank. Online users who still have faith in Romania’s internet network can also purchase and recharge transit cards via RATB’s website.
Ok there you go! Now let’s see what you can come up with :)