To begin with, for Megan, here is an extensive list of Romanian proverbs with their English equivalent.

I had a look through them and they all seem legitimate. That being said, it’s a little different because in English (and Spanish), I do not think two native speakers can talk for more than a minute without some kind of proverb, expression or euphemism being uttered. Romanian is a far more direct language.

To Elizabeth and anyone else wondering the “basics” about what I’m doing here, I highly recommend you read the FAQ and that should answer some of your questions.

The long and short of it though is that while I greatly enjoy living here (for the most part), I would never, ever recommend it for anyone else. Odd, eh? I guess I should amend that by saying, unless you’re into odd and weird things, don’t even think about living here (visiting though is fine for just about anyone).

If you’re passing through, spending a few nights in a hostel or a hotel, wandering through museums, hiking trails or visiting castles then Romania is a nice and interesting destination. Most of the bigger cities have enough facilities, signs and people who use English and the prices for most things are quite reasonable. Heck, I came here myself first as a tourist and had a wonderful time, lo these many years ago :P

Due to the vagaries of my life, I’ve traveled a lot and seen a lot of places and met a lot of people. I’ve also learned that there is a tremendous difference between living somewhere and just visiting. Anyone can fork over cash for a clean room with a bed and a hot shower. Dealing with surly neighbors and calculating monthly building fees and arguing with taxi drivers is whole ‘nother kettle of fish entirely :P

The further you enmesh yourself in the fabric of daily life in this country the more you are going to need a kind of Zen-like ability to detach and remain calm, neither angered nor consumed with an eternally unsatisfied number of questions. If you’re a 12th level yellow hat Buddhist monk then Romania should suit you just fine. Or if you’re addlepated or blissfully unaware of your surroundings most of the time, like I am :D

In other words, very few things in Romania make any sense. They often appear to make sense, at first glance, but the more you peel back the layers of the onion the less understandable things become.

Just a few random examples off the top of my head:

America – A great percentage of Romanians who have never been to the United States are quite convinced they know more about it than you do from watching movies and television.

English – Again, a large percentage of Romanians have some knowledge and use of the English language. In almost all cases however they are stubbornly convinced they speak it and write better than you do.

Dictatorship – On one hand, there’s far more freedom for an individual in Romania than any other “western” country I can think of. Some of it is due to poverty (surveillance cameras are expensive, etc) but some of it is because Romanians find it unthinkable that you’re unable to manage your own self. A child can go to the store by himself and a man can get colossally drunk at a public swimming pool with no problem.

And yet underneath this layer is an ever-present desire for authoritarian leadership, whether fascist, communist, a monarch or something else. Nothing brings a smile to a Romanian’s face more quickly than seeing the rules being imposed on someone else.

Rules – Again, it’s when the rules are brought on someone else. Every single Romanian constantly bitches about corruption, stealing, thieves and unfairness and then proceeds to steal, evade, weasel, break and infringe every rule under the sun.

Further compounding the surreal nature of this country, the government always (theoretically) tries to address this prevalence of rule-breaking by creating more rules. I don’t think it’s possible to sneeze in Romania without technically breaking some kind of law or rule.

Conformity – Just about every single Romanian is living a life utterly crushed under the pressure to conform with the norms of their friends, neighbors and family. It makes the Japanese look like light-weight slackers in the homogeneity department.

As a result of this, Romanians are always severely repressed, especially emotionally. Therefore any conversations of any substance must be carefully limned as though you were walking through a minefield.

Perfect example of this – a few years ago I was in Bucharest, riding a bus with my male Romanian friend. It was daytime and fairly crowded and we ended up standing next to a young woman. We struck up a conversation (mostly in English) and I found out she was about to graduate and become a psychologist.

This certainly piqued my interest and so I asked her a few questions about the kind of mental illnesses she wanted to treat, who she thought her potential clients would be (adults, groups, children, etc) and what kind of psychological approach or technique was her specialty, etc.

Again, daylight, crowded bus in the capital and largest, most urbane city in the country. After a few minutes she broke down and began to cry. She had a rapid conversation with my friend and then it was time for us to get off the bus anyway. From my point of view, it went from a few ordinary questions to a crying jag from out of the blue (Megan: din senin).

My friend explained that I had upset her simply because I had been asking too many questions. It wasn’t the topic of them or the tone of my voice or anything else, just simply a question of quantity. Romanians cannot handle too many questions and “too many” is a pretty damn low number.

If I told you how far this gets pushed sometimes and the results I’ve seen (especially in people’s dating/sexual relationships) you wouldn’t even believe me.

Low Self-Esteem – As a nation and as a culture, Romanians have incredibly low self-esteem for the most part. Saying an abundance of positive things about Romania is going to make people think of you as a gullible fool.

I can say, “Hey the mobile phone coverage is better, coffee is cheaper and the mall is nicer than that rotting dump back in my old town,” and a Romanian will pat me on the head and cluck their tongue, feeling sorry for me for being such a chump. “Everyone knows” Romania is at the bottom of the class for reasons, A, B, C and D.

Wow that’s a lot of fairly “harsh” words to say here but you have to remember that I am describing how life is for a Romanian. For a foreigner it is completely different, especially one from a “high-status” country like the one written on my passport.

I come from a country with an abundance of frothing at the mouth patriots so it’s really hard to comprehend that here in Romanian I receive better treatment from Romanians than Romanians do. On some level or another, wherever I go, I am always at least a low level celebrity of some sort.

The immediate benefits of this is quite often just receiving better treatment. I am yelled at a lot less, I am allowed to bend a lot more rules and I wait less in certain governmental situations. I also (used to) get a lot more free drinks at the bar as well :P

But a hidden benefit is that because I am not encumbered by all the internal social rules, I can just go around being myself and nobody gives a damn. It’s like the surprising (to some) fact that most gang members die from fighting other gang members. When you’re a high status foreigner, almost all of the most onerous and crushing social expectations disappear simply because the rules only apply to second-class citizens, aka Romanians themselves. That’s their belief, by the way, not mine.

I could walk around town every day wearing a gigantic pink wig and I doubt it would barely cause a stir because I’m not Romanian. Okay that’s a small exaggeration but it reminds me of the funny story a friend told me years ago. He was living in a devoutly Muslim country and five times a day, whenever the call to prayer went out, everyone stopped what they were doing (including driving cars) and got on their knees. So my friend suggested waiting outside a bank. When the call goes out, everyone gets down and he’ll walk in, grab the money and be gone before people can finish their prayers and allowed to move again.

It never happened of course but Romania is a little bit like that, in that if you’re not snared in so many of the cultural norm requirements to conform, you can get away with a whole heck of a lot. Of course I try not to abuse it but it is quite intoxicating at times.

And on Romania’s good side, a lot of “old school” knowledge is not only just preserved here but used. I mean everything from eating wild edible foods to handicrafts to building knowledge to other artesian skills. This is a country where you can walk into a store and literally buy cheese that is wrapped inside a piece of sewn-together tree bark.

Just as an aside here, to anyone still living in the “western world” and its non-stop obsession with things being “green” and “ecologically” friendly, what is more “Earth friendly” than packaging food inside of tree bark? There’s literally no pollution created and it is naturally biodegradable.

The story on the cheese by the way is that shepherds milk their sheep up in the highlands and then pour it into special molds that they make on the spot (from tree bark). The milk matures inside these containers over time and when the shepherds come back to the area with their flock bam, there’s some cheese! And yes, it’s supremely tasty.

I can walk a short distance and buy wild strawberries gathered from a forest by the very same person who is selling them to me. Utterly incredible and fantastic. Just a plethora of fresh, wholesome food grown in the “old way” is available.

It always sounds a little pedestrian to speak so much about the importance of food (and water) but quite simply they are the basis for our very life. Back in the United States I used to have to shell out insane kinds of money for something even close to being fresh and organic. It’s like some kind of luxury and here it is the standard. Poor people in Romania eat organic carrots. Do you feel me on this?

I have a simple philosophy when it comes to food that is served to me and cooked by someone else. I look at the face and the mannerisms of the person and if they look stressed, unhappy, harried, bothered or irritated I don’t eat there. Why would anyone want to eat food handled by someone in this mental state?

The Woman and I went to a certain restaurant (unnamed by me but in Romanian on her blog) and I took one look at the place and decided I wouldn’t eat there. She ends up writing a review about the place and the owner comes out swinging and being a total dick, which just reinforces my belief that I made the right call.

Versus the older lady who had set up a langoserie inside an ancient trailer (Brit: “caravan”) parked on the side of the road. She’s in there cooking fried pieces of bread in 34 (95F) degree heat and laughing and talking to me. Why not? It’s her set-up and she’s doing it the way she wants to.

In Romania you get a lot more of the latter than you do the former, and it’s a damn nice thing. Eating out is largely a wonderful pleasure here. Besides the delicious food and the reasonable price, you almost always get a pleasant atmosphere. You can sit there and talk and relax and eat at your own pace without someone subtly trying to hassle you out of there. That alone makes an incredible difference in how much pleasure you get from your meal.

Oh and one more thing and it’s very important – how people dress in public.

Quite frankly, I came from a nation of slobs. Romanians on the other hand are obsessed with how they dress in public. It’s not a question of different styles of fashion but that clothes in public are 1) meant to fit 2) be clean 3) not wrinkled, saggy or slovenly in appearance.

Many, many moons ago I remember walking into a computer lab in a university (in America) and seeing entire rows of people sitting at the desks wearing their pajamas in the middle of the day. Dressing in an unkempt manner and or like a homeless person is considered an exercise of rights.

Here the philosophy is different because you dress nice as a minimum for the sake of others. When I first came here I was violently opposed to it but now I am in whole-hearted agreement. When other people look nice, it’s a very nice thing for YOU, the person who has to look all these other people.

Not only just that, but the old English expression the clothes make the man is also an accurate one. When you wear clothes that fit, are clean and in very good condition, you feel a heck of a lot better yourself. And when you walk around in your quality clothes and pass by other people in theirs, life is just a little bit sweeter for everyone.

So there you go, a little longer than I was originally anticipating :P but those are a few of my thoughts on the subject of why I live here. I guess I’ll also amend that in general I also have a lot of fun here, which is probably the one sentence answer I should’ve given at the very beginning :P