Yay! I got my first comment from a real person, from the nice lady (girl? young woman? Old hag? LOL) over at Naked Cupcakes. Go check it out!
Of course, by definition, right now I’m a big “nobody” on the internet so my endorsements are worth… well about nothing. But one day after my Awesomeness and Excellence is Universally Recognized and just one of those Facts That Everybody Knows, you’ll be trawling through what is to you the “archives” of all my blogging goodness and see the link and think ah, cupcakes, those are tasty, and I like naked things and so hmm, I’ll check it out. So do it already!
Oh and her comment was Positive and Life-Affirming and probably not Snarky or Sarcastic (I hope!) and so now I feel compelled to sort of write yet an addendum to my “FAQ” wherein I describe what the hell I’m actually doing here, writing all this so-called “stuff” (aka this blog).
If I didn’t already have a Fabulous Job that pays me Untold Riches and if fame were my goal then I couldn’t have picked a worse topic than hmm… Romania of all things to write about, especially in English because:
If you’re American (or British or Australian or one of those 500 other places where people speak English) you probably know next to nothing about Romania and therefore yawn, boring, sigh, wtf is this, why not write about celebrities and Super Kewl TV shows and/or movies or naked people or funny cat pictures or food recipes or how to lose weight (and keep it off!) and how to get whiter teeth and grow your hair back and increase the size of your wang and 50 ways to please your lover and all those sorts of things.
So there’s a mistake already.
OR you’re Romanian and don’t speak English, so you’re reading this going “huh?” and then going somewhere else to read about Romanian celebrities and where the new cool disco is and how delicious the sausages were at your favorite fast food place were, etc.
OR you’re Romanian and you DO speak English. Then you get all the references and the “in jokes” and nod with Sage Understanding whenever I mentioned a town in Romania and all that sort of things. Sounds like the perfect “target audience” for my Blog of Pure Awesomeness, doesnt it?
Well….. not quite. Being Romanian is sort of like the N word in English. If somebody foreign or non-Romanian talks bad about your country or your people or your culture, you get your hackles up and defend it staunchly and beat your chest with pride at your ancestry.
But amongst Romanians themselves? Not so much pride there. Or self-liking. In fact, if you sit in amongst a group of Romanians talking, they constantly bitch and moan about what a terrible, messed up country this is and how poor everyone is and polluted it is and dirty and noisy and filthy and crowded and the prices are too high and gypsies are everywhere and the politicians are all crooked and corrupt and oh lawd, woe is me, from morning ’til night.
So whenever I go around with my happy thoughts and point out the GOOD things in life here they sneer and look down their noses at me and generally consider me either retarded and/or an escapee from a mental hospital and hey don’t you know life in France or the United States or England or Singapore or wherever is SO MUCH BETTER and blah, blah, woe is me, and life sucks and I think I’ve got tuberculosis and it’s too cold or too hot or my grandmother is driving me insane and on and on and on.
On the subject of their own country, Romanians, generally speaking, are like a depressed person whom you think is awesome and fun and cool and pretty/handsome and a good friend and you like them a lot and you want to cheer them up and remind them of the good things in life and they just sigh and pull a long face and go “Well I don’t even know why I even get out of bed in the morning” and you remind them of all the good times you had and the laughs you’ve shared and they just sigh even louder and go, “Yeah I GUESS so,” and just refuse to cheer up matter what.
So there goes my “target audience” LOL down the drain. So what am I left with?
Well I’m going to continue to be chipper and upbeat and share with you (in English) all my adventures in this crazy country and if Romanians don’t like it, TOO BAD SO SAD. Hopefully even if you’ve never been here or know nothing about it you’ll find my anecdotes amusing and come back for more. That’s the plan, eh? Lure ’em in with wild stories of candy and strippers and drunken adventures and then sneak in a little grammar and some food recipes and yes, even a cat picture or two whenever I can figure out how to transfer photos to my computer LOL.
So, here we are. And maybe, who knows, you’ll be here one day as well. Every year I always get surprised when I hear/see tourists walking around, including yes American ones, and my eyes bug out and I think to myself, “What’s the matter? France and England or Italy too boring for you, so you had to come here?” and then (sometimes) I talk to them and they relate their many fine adventures and experiences they’ve had here and I am once again reminded that hey, I do live here voluntarily (duh – I’m not too quick on the uptake) and I like it a lot and so I grin and many smiles are exchanged and I do my little bit as the English-speaking Ambassador for Romania and give directions and useful tips and advice and they go home and regale their loved ones and friends and family with photos and highlights and the good wine they bought and so on and so forth.
And then of course one day they mention to an actual, you know, Romanian person about how highly they think of their (the Romanian’s) culture and beautiful nature and food and wine and music and the Romanian smiles politely and then backs away carefully like you do with a potentially rabid dog and then wonders once again why foreigners are so blind and crazy to think that anything Romanian is good at all because it’s so obviously a pestilential dump full of obnoxious, ignorant peasants and staggering idiocy, except for them and a few of their friends and family, of course ;)
SOUND LIKE A PLAN? I’M GOING FOR IT!