Bătaie în curu gol


I often get accused by my critics of being too focused on the negative aspects of Romania, a surprising behavior for a person supposedly so fond of the place. But from my perspective, showing concern is just another way of showing how much you care.

Nonetheless, I thought it was time for an unambiguously positive story!

Sticks and Swords

Despite the Romanian press’s shaky journalistic practices, there is no doubt whatsoever that the news in Romania is always entertaining.

And one of my favorite Romanian news stories is when a group of young men clash in the street, attacking each other with wooden sticks.

From time to time, groups of men in Romania start a dispute that ends up in a free-for-all melee.

These guys always fall into one of two categories, gypsy or “interlopi”, which kind of means like a mafia or clan. The “interlopi” are usually the ones with the wooden bats and sticks, while the gypsy battlers sometimes up the ante a bit with knives or even swords.

Yeah, swords. I know. But gypsies are gypsies.

Whatever the case, usually no one ever gets killed, and even serious injuries are rare.

I realize that the news always portrays these violent physical battles between groups of men as a bad thing, but to my mind, it’s actually pretty freaking great.

No, of course, I’m not being racist and suggesting that it’s a good thing when these doofuses decide to tangle.

But if you look at it from my perspective, what you see is that these clashes are actually reducing injuries and murders in the community by releasing what is obviously an excessive build-up of masculine tension.

Instead of shooting each other (ugh) or engaging in civil war, rebellion, or terrorism, these guys are just punching and whacking (and somtimes stabbing) the daylights out of each other.

Is it “stupid”? Yes. But it is what it is, so it’s quite beneficial to have a way to reduce societal tensions as minimally lethal as a group ass kicking.

I’m just jealous I never got invited to one of these things, as sadly, I am neither a gypsy nor a member of a hillbilly clan.

But in case I ever do get to participate in one of these group donnybrooks, I know exactly what I’ll be shouting at the top of my lungs.

INCEPE BATAIE IN CURU’ GOL!

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One Comment Add yours

  1. diasporean says:

    I guess an American will say that it is very positive when someone shoots at you but misses. Or when a white US policeman gets recorded saying he only shoots black people, and, “positively”, he gets arrested before shooting a few more.

    I am learning here that frequent beatings in the street “reduces social tension”. Genius! Obviously, I am jealous I did not think of this earlier, and patent the idea. Any Government should organize such beatings regularly between people who can’t find jobs, or are hungry, instead of giving them welfare. This is also great for women, who can go shopping while their husbands are engaged in reducing social tension. So, a win-win, for the Government and for business.

    Like

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