Our Long National Nightmare Is Over


our glorious leader

I’d almost forgotten but tomorrow is the big presidential election in the United States of America, where millions of people will head out to the polls to vote for a man or woman they’ve never heard of, who theoretically will accurately and fairly tabulate these votes and then weeks later meet secretly with other anonymous men and women, who will then cast their vote for President and Vice President of the United States, as laid down in the most confusing fucking system of all time.

Because I’m the American monkey who speakee a little Romanian, I will be appearing on a few television channels tomorrow so keep your eyes peeled for that, if you’re the kind of person who’d be interested in such things. I’d like to tell you “Channel X at such-and-such time” but we all know that isn’t how it works. If something actually does happen and gets broadcast and there’s a video archive of it online, I promise I will post it here on the website.

Have fun tomorrow those of you who are American voters and may the best puppet win! :)

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10 Responses »

  1. Sam, Sam, Sam, you’ve been gone too long. The voting system is pretty easy. The only “confusing” part is who stuffs the ballot box. This year is all about “protecting the voting system from all that fraud no one can seem to find” and “keeping all of those fraudulent voters from the poles.” Rumor has it gangs of Tea Party devotees will spend the day at the poles intimidating those fraudulent voters. This includes anyone of color and anyone looking anything close to a Democrat. Leave your birkentocks at home. I wonder how many of the TP are going to show up with their side arms practicing their 2nd Amendment rights.

    I don’t recall an election year this exciting. We’ve had three visits from party workers, well over 100 phone calls (20 from the NRA), pounds of political fliers through the mail, and I can’t keep count of the electronic fliers through email and Facebook I’ve deleted. I think both parties have kept the networks and cable in business with all the ads so far.

    A Romanian friend of mine who recently moved to the USA was quite surprised when I mentioned the visit to my house by the two political parties. This must mean something totally different in Romania. In our conversation I’ve mentioned that the actual candidates often go house to house. She can’t wait until her citizenship.

    Well the poles open in 17 hours and 36 minutes, but who is counting. This is my one moment in time I get to tell the politicians what I think. Then back to work.

    • If by “fraudulent voters” the Tea Party is trying to intimidate (according to your allegations) are racial minorities, likely to vote for Obama, I don’t think they would go to the Poles in the first place. It’s a bit too cold. And too far. And there are polar bears and the like…

  2. Hi, I just found your blog last night searching for easy to understand help with Romanian grammar, and I’ve pretty much devoured your entire site since then. I see that you haven’t posted a grammar lesson in a long time, and I just wanted you to know that I’d love to see more of them! I’m having a lot of trouble keeping straight all of the pronouns and how they convert into dashed conjunctions. I read your post about the dash, and it was helpful, but I’d love to read more! You said in that post that you’d go more into depth about this in a future post, but I didn’t see one. Feel free to point me in that direction if I missed it somewhere! Thanks for doing this blog, I love it!

  3. Well, at least we don’t have a system in the USA where our votes are ruled invalid when the number of voters falls below 50-percent of a very ambiguous and impossible-to-verify total. :-)

  4. Just imagine you live in Turda and you want to vote for, let’s say, the Crin. Everybody in your region would want to vote for the Crin as well. And in all neighbour regions. There is only one problem. Turda and all this regions have a small population, anyway they pay lots of taxes and contribute significantly to the country’s GDP etc. Ah, and there is also a small problem: there is another city, let’s say Bucuresti and perhaps also Iasi, who are the only two major cities and regions wanting to vote for another guy, let’s say the Gigi. While Iasi is a little bigger than your Turda and the region’s population is not that high, Bucuresti has about 35% of all voters in the country. So, in the end. Bucuresti and Iasi will decide (cause there will be a certain percent of idiots in your Turda voting also for the other guy) the result, ALWAYS, cause for Gigi it is enough to focus on these two cities while not giving a damn about you guys and the rest of “ardelenii figuranti”. Maybe now you understand the reasons behind a weighted election system, even if you still do not agree with it. If we would have had this “confusing fu§$ing system” in the 90s in Romania, the Ilici guy (iliescu sa traiasca, ca-i capu’ la tara noastra!) would have not been elected cause of the uneducated manipulated f*ckheads in Moldova and Bucuresti. Of course, the system is not perfect and there are discussions to be made regarding the number of electors (maybe even the word “electors” taken out, cause it makes us feel small…, maybe just say “voturile din judetul Cluj valoreaza N % din votul total”) each region has, depending on population size, contribution to economy etc.

    • Ponderea voturilor sa fie in functie de produsul intern brut… n-am nimic impotriva. Avand in vedere ca Bucurestiul produce un pic peste 50% din PIB daca s-ar fi votat asa Basescu n-ar fi fost reales si n-ar fi trebuit sa-l suport pe idiotul de Boc atatia ani prim-ministru.
      Da, sunt pentru. :-D

      • io nu prea cred ca bucurestiul produce, la propriu, peste 50% din pib

      • Nu, nu produce chiar atat, era doar “to make a point”. In termeni reali produce cam 20%, iar pe locul doi e Jud. Timis care produce cam 5-6%.

  5. Mulţumesc pentru aerpcieri. Urarea din final are o afirmaţie la bază: aceea că sunt vertical Motiv pentru care vă mai mulţumesc o dată.TurdaNews este un loc een care veţi găsi eentotdeauna pluralitatea opiniilor, dezvăluirea lucrurilor necurate, promovarea unor evenimente/manifestări/ care merită să fie promovate şi multe altele Nu avem resursele pe care le au alte organizaţii de media, dar eu zic, fără falsă modestie, că ceea ce oferim la acest moment, din punct de vedere jurnalistic, e OK.Evident, nu ne vom opri aici Dar contează foarte mult ce2nd eforturile sunt şi apreciate

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