How to keep your Doctorate Degree when you’re a lying scumbag Prime Minister in 6 easy steps


Yesterday in a COMPLETELY SURPRISE move the CNE (National Ethics Council) ruled that Victor Ponta didn’t plagiarize his 2003 doctoral dissertation. Whew! That was a close one. But I know what you’re thinking. “Sam, I studied for years and years and worked incredibly hard to earn my academic degrees. Why do I need this guide?”

Pay attention! One day you or someone you know might be the Prime Minister of a third world country and in need of some advice on how to prop up your pathetic little ego.

If you follow my 6 easy steps, you’ll see that it really couldn’t be easier:

  1. Ignore CNATCDU ruling that you’re a plagiarist even when it makes you the laughingstock of Europe
  2. State that only the CNE (subordinate to your Education Minister) can rule on your doctorate and decide “if” you plagiarized
  3. Ignore CNE members (including the long-time director) who resign “for medical reasons”
  4. Have your Education Minister appoint 7 new members (to go from 11 to 18) just three days before they make their ruling
  5. Have your Education Minister publicly threaten the university where CNE members teach that they won’t be able to award doctorates in the future if they rule against the Prime Minister in his case before them
  6. Yay, you did it! In a surprise move the CNE rules that you didn’t plagiarize your doctoral dissertation

This guide is also useful for protecting yourself when you plagiarize books that you “wrote” or pump up your CV with fake degrees you “earned” at other universities, etc, etc.

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5 Responses »

  1. Dude, this is just too funny :))) Talk about transparency. Ponta, the gift that keeps on giving:D

  2. Classic!!! You should hear me laughing from there!!
    Bravo, Sam (as usual!)

  3. Very funny :) But also a bit inaccurate. According to the legislation of Roumania (206/2004 and 1/2011) only CNE is entitled to analyze plagiarism accusations. CNATCDU is just another useless institution foudend by the ex PDL minister Funeriu (the one who is behind the plagiarism accusations brought to Ponta). Is a bit frustating to have a university diploma before 2011 (when CNATCDU was founded) and to have to go to Bucharest and pay for a stamp that make it valid.
    And another small observation: if the CNE finds that a phD thesis is plagiated, then we have a bigger problem. The phD thesis is not a classic scientific paper where the authors are the only responsable for its quality. A phD thesis is coordonated by a professor. Then, when the thesis is fully written, there are other referents called in to read it and to establish if it is ok and if it can be presented. Then the phD student presents the thesis in a faculty commision and after that there is a public presentation of the thesis. Finally the thesis is sent to Bucharest where an doctorate comision analyzes it and establish if the phD student can receive the phD diploma. This mechanism is designed to make it virtually impossible to have a “copy-paste” thesis. So if the thesis is found to be a plagiate, and the author has recieved a phD degree then there are a lot of people who have to answer for this. The professor that coordonated the thesis, the faculty that hosted it and the doctorate comision must all answer for this. So it is clear for me that CNE has all the reasons to rule against a plagiarsm acusation made to any phD thesis. Anyhow i would like to see all the phD thesis, master disertations and also al the licence papers thoroughly analyzed by a comiison, and all those found with palgiated content punished by removal of the title recieved in this manner. I bet that 90% of roumanians will remain only with the college degree :)

  4. One important thing to note Sam: The Council of Ethics belonging to the University of Bucharest is NOT the same with the CNE. And towards that Council Andronescu threw out those foul words and threats ;)

    They have yet to reach a decision, but the thought that Andronescu will dynamite the University after it gives the verdict of plagiarism is still worrying.

    Some say….The Stig was at the meeting and he *spoke* that the decision is Plagiarism:Positive :D

  5. Toti suntesti cu 2 clase lol nici nu are rost sa vb

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